at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
