Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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