ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
