She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
