i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
