Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
