Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
