I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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