No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
