OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
