some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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