In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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