fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize