I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
