I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
