He is an equal opportunity slut.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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