Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
