sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
