I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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