put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Don't make out with my wife yet
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
