I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
