I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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