yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
