i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It's never too late to be topless.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
