this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
