Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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