I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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