Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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