Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
