Your dad touched me again.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We had sex on a dog bed..
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
