a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
