well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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