fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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