btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
