Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
