Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
