Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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