its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Come on in and take your pants off
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