I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
