it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
