i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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