you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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