I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
i think i just lost a toe
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
