Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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