and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
