And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
