Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
