too bad you live with your parents still
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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