he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
