I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
