I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
