Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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