Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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