yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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