your thong is hanging out like whoa
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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