Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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