she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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