Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
