Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
