Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize