when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
