Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
now i know why i became what i already was.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
