so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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