I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Randomize
