you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize