Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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