I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
