how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
